Wednesday, 16 May 2012

He's a Keeper.

Hello Lovely People.

Be prepared for an overwhelming need to hurl as I gush and express my love for my Cam, my Family and his Family. Cam is my man. He truly makes me a better person. He picks me up when I am at my lowest. Reminds me every time I complain about having another treatment, that its making me better. Is a constant source of laughter for me. I love him. I am the first to admit that I am no fun to be around at the moment but he tries his very best to make the most of the good days and brightens the bad.
Hes a good man. A keeper some would say. I would have to agree.

My Family and Cams Family have been equally amazing. I probably dont thank you guys enough but know that I will be forever grateful for how you have all handled this wee hurdle. You are absolute superstars and I love you. 

Enough with the lovin'.

Countdown: 3 treatments to go. Awesome. The sooner its zero the better.

As I finish another treatment, the thought of being done and Cancer free overwhelms me. I think being told that I am Cancer free will be as emotional as when I was told that I have Cancer in the first place. How do you go back to normal?! My life has been less than normal ever since the day I was diagnosed. I had an appointment with my Oncologist last week before Chemo and we spoke about the scan following my last treatment. Next appointment we will be booking the scan....EEEPPPPP!! I have to wait 4 weeks following my final round of chemo for the scan. It will be like counting down the days till your birthday!!! I cant wait......A $2 mixture of emotions when I think about it all.

A wee update on the whole "Dawson" situation. I want to clear something up - John Dawson that works at Equilibrium in Nelson is NOT the Mr Dawson I was talking about. The James/Michael Dawson I was talking about lives in either Mot or Mapua and is not a registered Chiropractor in New Zealand.
Cam finished the work that Mr Dawson was wanting and Mr Dawson called Speedy print and Cam took the opportunity to tell him how he felt. Cam was so professional throughout this whole situation. While many (including myself) would loose their cool, Cam was so level headed. He said to Mr Dawson that he would no longer be doing any work for him and that what he said to Cam was not ok to say to anyone. Mr Dawson was shocked and actually said to Cam "What did I say to you Cam??" shocks me even more that he didn't even remember saying it to Cam. Anyway Cam got to say his piece. End of that wee Saga.

Cam and I attended a group for People living with Cancer last week. It was pretty incredible. Constantly I am overwhelmed by how amazing people are when they are faced with living and beating Cancer. There was about 14 of us there. All different situations but have all experienced the different wraths that come with Cancer. It really does highlight my frustration at people who constantly complain about their days/lives when they really have nothing to complain about....
There was an older lady in particular who was absolutely adorable. We had to go round and say a little bit about ourselves and our different situations. She lost her husband to Cancer and has beaten Cancer herself once before. She said "I was recently diagnosed with bone cancer and theres nothing they can do about it I dont think.".......My heart broke. Not just because she is having to do deal with this but with how matter of fact she was about the whole thing and how she continued to smile despite her diagnosis.  She smiled from the moment she arrived. I have said it once and I will say it again, next time you go to complain about your day, take a moment to think about those who are fighting for their lives and still manage to have a smile on their face. Puts things into perspective a bit. I found the whole thing to be an amazing experience and I actually found myself getting quite emotional when it came time to have my say. I was surprised at how easy it was to open up to complete strangers. It really wasn't Cams cup of tea. Really what guy likes to sit and talk about their feelings!!?? He did so well though and it meant a lot that he did it for me.  Its run by the Cancer Society and each week we have a different speaker. I cant wait for this weeks meeting and getting to know everyone a little more. I definitely recommend to anyone who has Cancer to locate a group for people with Cancer. I know that talking about Cancer is probably the last thing you feel like doing but it really helps. Knowing you aren't crazy with how you feel about certain things and even knowing that your not the only one thats struggling to take a poo is  great haha. Enough with the poo talk?? Ok!!. If anyone reading this is in Nelson and thinks that they could benefit from going, get in touch with Linda at the Cancer Society.

I had Cam by my side for last weeks treatment. Go Fished our way through it. Like I said before, I met with my oncologist and mentioned to her that the nurses thought it would be a good idea to try some pills to chill me out before chemo to see if it would help when it came to needle time. I took a pill when I got to my chemo treatment and we waited a little. It didn't work this time round because it hadn't had enough time to get to its full potential. It took three goes to get the needle in.....My Lovely Nurse said "You cant keep going through this Andrea." Damn straight. I am over it. I seriously thought it would get easier. It really doesn't. I truly try to calm myself down but just cant seem to do it. So the plan is to have one pill the night before chemo and then the morning of. Have to say that when the pills kick in, they kick in. As my chemo treatment ended, I felt so out of it. Like I was watching everything going on around me but I didn't feel like I was there......Do I sound like a nut case!!!??? It was the strangest feeling. I remember when the Nurse first told me about the pills. She said "we have had people tell us all our secrets when they have the pill." I can see how this would happen!! I went home and went to bed. Was asleep for about 10-15 mins tops and woke up in a fright not knowing where I was and thinking that I had slept all night. Not a fan of being out of to be honest. Will never be a drug taker - thats for sure haha. So heres hoping that two pills make all the difference.

I have met so many Cancer fighters & beaters throughout my journey and I have to say that I take my hat of to you all for how you handle things. Especially those who manage to work full time throughout their treatment.....I just dont know how you do it. There is no way that I could do it. When I am not feeling sick from treatment, I feel like my brain isn't my own. Honestly, I feel like I have lost some serious brain power throughout this treatment. Lets hope it comes back. For reals, I drive myself crazy with how "slow" I am.

Its getting colder. The sunlight hours are shorter which is depressing in itself! Have to say, I do suffer from a bit of cabin fever the days following treatment. I am a religious follower of a gazillion blogs, which do inspire me and full me of goodness. If any of you reading this have any blog gems that you would like to share, please comment below. I am always up for something new and may even do a blog on blogs.....! Would love to hear your favs, so feel free to leave me a comment.

To those who have commented (especially you anonymous critters) I want to thank you. I do wish that I knew who you were but totally respect you lovely anonymous people not wanting to reveal yourself. Just know that I really appreciate it.

Righto - Drawing another blogpost to a close. Take care of one another. Show a little love.
Until next time,


  1. Your blog always brightens up my day :)How you manage to stay so strong is a mystery to me but I truly admire you for it!

    1. Comments like yours brighten my day lovely Anon!
      I bet if you were faced with a similar test in life (not that I ever want you too of course,) you would find the strength too!
      Have a great day xx

  2. seriously super super cute photos! I have got some great blogs I follow here they are:

    first up just really raw and honest stuff about the life of a recovering alcoholic and her take on things - I love reading her posts

    Cute everyday stuff that is just beautiful

    my seriously favourite photog - but this is her new site that I haven't yet explore she is AMAZING!

    DIY stuff

    Fav design blog heaps of eye candy

    Totally awesome food blog seriously!

    ok and thats just a start - get bored of these and I will flick you some more! xxxx

    1. Thank You Rachael :) Good old self timer!!

      Wow!! Thank you - These will definitely keep me entertained.

      I have been meaning to email you. I am just waiting to hear from my Nurse about what her manager thought about it. I am sure we will be good to go though. I will get in touch with you as soon as I know. I cant wait!

      Have a lovely day :) xx

  3. I love following "The Bloggess" - she never fails to make me laugh. She has rheumatoid Arthritis, and severe Anxiety - but she is open and honest about it and hilarious.. did I mention she was funny?! :P

    So so happy for you, nearly at the end of the chemo. I can't wait to proudly announce that you have beaten it - I have so many people that ask about you. I am counting down with you :)

    Love the photos of you and Cam, especially the second one. It is so wonderful that you have someone to lean on and someone to be there for you. So so happy for you :)


    1. Thank you Ash!! I cant wait to check her blog out. Sounds so good.

      We will be able to scream it from the roof tops soon! I cant wait to be done. Tell those lovely people that I so appreciate their thoughts.

      Thank you! He's quite cute :) and yes I am very lucky to have him.

      Hope you are well Lovely.
      Lots of love xxxx

  4. Gorgeous photos. It makes all difference having awesome support by your side. I couldn't have got through half the things I did without my husband there.
    I hear you on the brain thing, I didn't feel like I was my own self at all during chemo, and it does go away. It just leaves you a little chemo brained for a wee while after (or is that me getting older? I'm not sure!). You are doing amazing. How come they didn't give you a portacath?

    1. Hi Monica :)

      Oh it definitely makes all the difference! You know those days when you have just had enough and yet they still manage to make you smile.

      I am so relieved to know that chemo brain goes!! Well at the beginning of the treatments they weren't having too much trouble with getting the needle in and then by the time things got really bad I only had about 5 treatments to go and we didn't feel that it was worth while. In saying that, it still might happen if these pills dont work and I will only have two treatments left. My veins are starting to really show the strain. A week since my last treatment and i still have a burn on my skin from the chemo and my arm aches.
      If I were to do it all again, I would definitely have a Portacath.
      Oh the things you learn!!

      Take care Monica,

  5. Here are my fav blogs:

    And this one always has awesome Articles

    1. Oh thank you Jenn :) Cant wait to sit down and read through these!
      I hope you have a lovely weekend. A.x

  6. Your blogs always make me feel like there is a life worth living! And give me faith in the world!
    Thank you for that,
    Without knowing it, you are helping my life and I am so thankful for that!

    1. Hi Jem,
      Life is definitely worth living! It's the only life you have, gotta make the most of it :)
      Your comment was so sweet Jem - Thank you.
      Take care of yourself lovely and have a good weekend.

  7. There's nothing as supportive as the love of a partner. I've had the love of Judy for the last 48 years and would dread the thought of losing that ( in the next 30 years or so!!).

    Keep on bloggin' Andrea, love them