I have agonised over people finding this out....How do I tell them??? What do I say?? etc etc....
Yes, I have Cancer.
I found out about two weeks ago that it was a possibility and was officially diagnosed on Wednesday the Twenty Third of November, Two thousand and Eleven.
A bit of history, for those who dont know....I have had a Thyroid problem since I was 14 years old. It was treated when I was 16 and I was fine for about two years. A lump returned in my throat, so back to the doctor I went to say that the Thyroid gland had flared up and they put me on the appropriate medicine and away I went. When Cam and I moved back to Nelson I went to my Gp here and requested to see a surgeon to get the Thyroid removed, because despite my Thyroid levels being normal, the lump would not go away and in fact it was getting bigger..
The ball got rolling and the surgeon ordered that I have an Ultra sound so he could see where the "thyroid" was placed in my neck so he could plan an appropriate procedure to remove it. I knew something was up when I had my ultra sound because the lovely nurse that was seeing me that day was visibly shocked when she saw the size of the mass and how it was placed. She tried her very best to make me comfortable and not let on that it was anything bad. Next thing you know, I am in having a CT scan. I thought it was simply another test for the surgeon to get a better understanding of the location of the "Thyroid." I thought it was a little bit strange when they told me that they were going to do a full body scan. I said that they probably didn't need to worry because the only thing they needed to check was my throat....They said "Oh we are just going to check that your bones are in line.".......What!??? Check that my bones are in line??? I wasn't going to argue and let them do what they needed to do.
A few days passed and I was out discovering beautiful places with a Landscape designer that I was Photographing for when I received a call from my GP to say that I needed to go and in and see him straight away. I could hear in his voice that something wasn't ok. I rang my Mum to say that I was headed to the Doctor and told her if I needed her I would call.
I got in there and he told me that there is a high chance that I have Hodgkins Lymphoma, which is a form of Cancer......That the huge lump in my throat was actually a Tumor. The first thing that raced through my head was "DELTRA GOODREM!!" I remembered her having a very public battle with this Cancer when I was in my teens. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I rang my Mum and she came in and was told. I felt terrible for my GP. He is probably the sweetest Man you will ever meet and he didn't technically have to tell me that I have Cancer. He requested that I saw him because he didn't want a complete stranger telling me the news. That is something I will be forever grateful for.
I had two Biopsies the following weeks and the results came back as positive for Hodgkins Lymphoma.
I apologise to those who are finding this out by reading this but I feel its the easiest way for me to get the news out there. I am not good with telling people face to face..... I am ok! Its not ideal but its something that I have no doubt I will overcome. Positivity is a strong and great thing and I have plenty of it. Cam and I are in the process of sorting out the future of our Babies :) We have an appointment with the Fertility Clinic and will probably be going with the IVF option. So crazy to think we will have a baby.......Also crazy to think that when that child is eventually born, we can tell it (eventually!!) that it was conceived so many years ago....CRAZY!!! I am also meeting with my Doctor next week to find out my treatment plan and how long I will be receiving Chemo.
I know that this is not something anyone wants to read but I need you to understand that I am ok. I have my moments but if you saw me in the street and you didn't know that I was sick, you wouldn't be able to tell. I am just carrying on as normal. In terms of my work, the Doctor has assured me that I will still be capable of Photographing. I have however emailed the Clients that have bookings with me over the next year to give them the heads up and also the opportunity to change their bookings. I have to say I have been truly overwhelmed by their responses. The kindest words from complete strangers and it has really warmed my heart.
To those who have sent flowers, cards, baked, called, popped round and simply sent me a lovely text.....Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You dont understand how much it means to me having you all surrounding me. How can I not get better with the great friends and family that I have!!!!???? I am going to kick the bastard so hard up the back side, it wont dare return!!!! I will be documenting my journey through this blog and through photographs, so just a heads up if its too heavy for you, you probably dont want to read this blog anymore. Thank you for taking the time to read this... I wish I was telling you all that I won lotto or something but maybe one day?? :) Eat healthy, exercise and be happy! Take care and have a lovely day. I know I will :) A.x