{ Ponytail Dreams }

I have a confession to make.

I have been dreaming of Ponytails.....My very own Ponytail.

Some dreams completely revolve around the Ponytail.

And others dont. But. I have a ponytail. Always.

Its not long. Just a cute little one. And I quite like it.

The hair is topic for conversation lately.

"Oh! I like your hair."

Thanks. I like it too.

"Can I touch it?"

Yup.

Its back. Yes.

Its straight. Yes

And yes. Its a lot lighter than it was before.

I am LOVING the different stages of hair growth. Thankfully I dont look bad with short hair....well that is what I have been told and I am happy to claim the ability to rock any hair length.

Today I had a blood test. The first in what feels like forever!

I went to the hospital to have my bloods done like I always have.

Do you know. It was nice that the nurse taking my blood didn't recognise me.

Yuuuuussssssssss! Its not my hang out anymore.

This blood test is needed for my first 3 month check up - which is happening next week.

Cancer free. For three months. Yuuuuussssssssssss!

Lets rain on the parade for just a second.

R-E-L-A-P-S-E. 

Its an icky, make your skin crawl type of word. Like moist.

Its almost classed as a swear word in my eyes.

The return of a disease or the signs and symptoms of a disease after a period of improvement.

The word plays on your mind.

You try not to even let it be a factor in life but its there. Hiding away in the back of your mind.

I have felt great. No symptoms or signs jumping out at me.

But I will admit that I have been obsessively going over myself with a fine - tooth comb. Feeling for lumps.

I dont even notice I am doing it sometimes.

and I am searching in places that aren't even where I had the tumor.

I know that this fear is normal and over time it.will.get.easier.

Its all part of finding and adapting to your new normal, that they tell you about.

Things are changing.

I am going to be making some changes to my diet. Completely cutting out some nasties.

Bad Sugars. Some say its the root of all evil.

Yeah. We aren't going to be friends anymore.

Bit of a Detox in the works. I hear its going to make me feel energised and amazing.

Exciting times.

Watch this space.

Crazy to think that next month - Twenty Third of November -  It will be a year since I was diagnosed.

What a difference a year makes.

Full circle.

Sick. Diagnosed. Treatment. Recovery. Cancer free. Kicking arse.

A.x