Truth.

"Who you are is not truly defined until some disruption forces you to rethink your existence."

Unknown.


Yes.
A.x

Exercise???

I have almost forgotten what it is.


Exercise
verb
Definition: Do repeatedly, especially to improve
Synonyms: break, break in, condition, cultivate, develop, discipline, drill, dry run, exert, fix, foster, groom, habituate, hone, improve, inure, labor, lick into shape, limber up, loosen up, maneuver, ply, practice, prepare, pump iron, put out, put through grind, put through mill, rehearse, run through, set strain, teach, train, tune up, walk through, warm up, work, work out. 


"I am going to run 2k along the beach today" I say to myself.

Confident, I head down to the beach and start my 2k run.

2 minutes in and I am dead. Panting. My heart, lungs and brain is screaming at me to stop.

Wow. The realisation of just how much of a beating my body has had over the last year sinks in.

I decide to walk the rest of the 1st kilometer and then run the 2nd.

I do it. But. Seriously. I am just about ready to conk it.

I can just imagine the look of utter exhaustion on my face when I finished.

Despite looking worse for wear, I am totally stoked that after months and months of no exercise, I manage to complete something I have set out to do.

As a youngster I was really fit.

Judo. Volleyball. Running. Anything.

I have certainly gone down hill through the years but I am totally ready to up my game.

So I have started small.

2k along the beach. First kilometer walking. The second running. 3 x a week.

First week of completion and I am feeling good.

Normally I am one of those I-dont-want-to-exercise-because-I-dont-want-people-looking-at-me-while-I-sweat but I really dont give anymore because I have been given the hardest reality check that life can throw at you.

Sure! People who are almost out of this world with their impeccable healthy lifestyles still get Cancer BUT maintaing a healthy lifestyle is super important. There are some amazing people that are fighting their Cancer by living a healthy, stress free life. Kris Carr is a must for everyone to check out {especially you Cancer Fighters.} She is incredible.

I feel pretty amazing after just one week of getting back into exercising and I cant wait to push myself as I build up the strength to do so.

I didn't exercise during treatment. Apart from the occasional walk - That would take all of my energy. I didn't want to push my body and looking back now, I am glad I didn't.

I know what its like to feel as though your body has absolutely no juice. No get up and go. Nothing.

Feeling so good now gives me the push to keep building my strength.

I saw a good article about Exercise after treatment and there was one sentence that stood out to me.

"If you've had six months off, you need to take six months to get back into it again. You've been through your own marathon - you dont need to put another marathon on top of it!"

So start off small. I have found that the motto - "starting off small" -  applies to a lot of aspects in my life since finishing treatment. Baby steps can accomplish giant things.

Today I had a good day. I met with one of my Bride & Grooms for the upcoming Wedding season. They are meant to be my clients. We are totally on the same page and I just simply cant wait for their Wedding. I have a very exciting Wedding season this year. Getting to explore places around New Zealand that I have never been to. Also a friend of mine that I have grown up with is marrying her high school sweetheart. It puts a huge smile on face and my heart gets a little giddy when I think about the months to come.

Daylight savings commences this weekend which means Summer is just around the corner.

I sure i'm not the only one looking forward to sunny, warm nights, bbqs, the smell of sunscreen, sticky hands from the melted ice block that you didn't eat quick enough, salty skin for the sea, jandal tan lines & just general summer activities.

Life is good.
A.x

{ Calendar 2013 }

And so its done. 

I picked up my box of Calendars this morning. Such an amazing feeling to see the finished product.

I feel a little sad that its all done!

This Calendar has gotten me through a lot.

It was a distraction through the tough days and something that kept me smiling.

It has been a massive honor to meet every single person in this Calendar. 

Amazing people.

Here is a little look - Without giving too much away....

I have a few to sell but you can also purchase them from:

• Nelson Women's Centre - 44 Trafalgar Street - (03) 546 7986
• Cancer Society Nelson - 76a Waimea Road - (03) 539 3662
• Speedy Print - 75 Buxton Square

The Calendars are $20 each and all the proceeds are going to be split between Nelson Women's Centre and Cancer Society Nelson.

Two fantastic organisations!

Get your Calendars sorted for next year and support these Causes.

Cancer affects 1 in 3 New Zealanders. Pulling together and supporting one another makes all the difference!

A.x

{ My Baby Brother }

I had to share these photos I took of my brother.

Oldies but goodies.

Some of my favourite moments that I have captured of him.

He's a little bit handsome. Yes I can say that as his Sister.

He's caring and he looks after his big Sister.

The point of this post? To show off a little.

I have the coolest brother around.

He will probably get bashful when he sees this but I dont care.

Kris - I love you and I am so grateful that I have a sibling like you.

A.x

Smoke. Do you?

Me: "Hey you there smoking. Yeah you. Would you like a tumor with that cigarette?"

To say that smoking annoys me would have to be a massive understatement.

I keep my opinions to myself about smoking but seriously.

Give it up people. Give it a go at least.

A Smoke-free NZ is something I would love to see.

Enough about that.

Wanted to share a wee gem with you all. Something that has been a highlight of my days this week.

I was told about it by my good Friend, Philippa and it seriously has made such a difference.

Calm.com

Its amaze. I was taught how to do this at one of my Cancer group sessions but it really helps having someone talk you through stopping everything and relaxing.

Its my new fav and I had to share.

So take a moment to stop and relax.

So good for you. Unlike smoking....just saying.

A.x

{ Young Survivors NZ }

The moment where you look at yourself in the mirror and smile because you actually recognize the person staring back at you.

Yeah. That has been happening a lot lately.

My body feels good.

Weight and hair is returning to the places it went missing from and it feels fantastic.
Granted my showers are longer and shaving is a hassle - I am not complaining!

The effects from chemo are disappearing fast and I have to say that I am enjoying looking in mirror again.

The only things that remain that remind me of my last few months, are a couple of burn scars and they are things that I will probably always have. Its good to have a wee reminder catch your eye every so often.

Reminding you of what has passed and how far you have come.

I am happy to report that my period has also returned. Within a couple of months of finishing treatment is pretty awesome - especially when my Doctor said that it can take up to a year sometimes for it to come back. I am taking this as a massive good sign. Potentially might not need our frozen babies.....Quite weird to think about really. I almost feel guilty for the little guys and girls. Not wanting to get to a head of myself of course!! You never know what can happen.

I was talking to my doctor about people who have IVF babies and they said that they heard of a guy that felt so bad leaving frozen embryo's and eggs behind that they had them all! In our case that it completely out of the question. That would mean the potential of 10 children...Almost a rugby team. Not happening.

It will be interesting to see how things go in that department when the time comes though.

The one thing I am struggling with is life. I have suppressed it for so long. Trying to pretend that I am not struggling.

Why? Because I feel guilty for struggling with NOT having Cancer, when there are people who would give anything to be in my shoes.

But seriously. Its flippen hard. And I finally cracked. Tears with my Mummy.

The problem I have finally figured is that mentally, I cant motivate myself to move on and while everyone tells me that its ok and to take as much time as I need - I cant help but feel stupid for feeling the way I do.

I expected to be flying after treatment. Moving forward.

The thing I have realised is I cant move forward until I accept what I have been through because I will always hit the wall at some point if I dont. I seem to be taking two steps forward and then 20 steps backwards..

I havent wanted people knowing that I am struggling because I am too proud. I know I am. I also feel the need to be brave all the time and ignore what my heart is telling me.

My reasoning for talking about it now? Because I know that every single Cancer survivor out there will go through this at some point and I want to let people know that it is normal and it is ok.

I also want to raise an important issue. Support after treatment.

When you are diagnosed, you are instantly surrounded by support. You gain an awesome doctor, kick arse nurses and you generally just float along on a cloud of support.

Once you get the all clear, there is no manual on how to cope. You have to make your way into the world where everyone moves a million miles an hour - while you are still going at a snails pace because thats the only way your mind can function.

I believe that there is a massive gap in the support offered to people after treatment.

Now dont get me wrong. I have always and will always say that the hospital staff, my Nurse, Doctor and the people at The Cancer Society do an amazing job. They are really incredible people.

I just feel there needs to be something set up for a Cancer survivor. I personally believe that it should be mandatory for Survivors to go through a few sessions with a Counselor. I know your nurses and doctors say that you can get in touch with them at any time but they have people who are sick, that need their help. I would feel like I was robbing them of time they need to be spending with Cancer Fighters.

There needs to be something completely different set up for after treatment. People who know what its like and can help you through it.

It almost needs to be offered instantly. I never thought that I would be feeling like this and asking for help can often be half the issue for people.

What you have been through is MASSIVE. You might think you are ok but it can take a while for the problems to surface.

The point of this post is that a wonderful lady has started to do something about it. A lovely lady by the name of Monica has set up a Facebook group for Young Woman Survivors. A private place where you can go to vent and get support from people who know what you are going through.

So if you are under 45, a Woman, live in New Zealand and are a Cancer Survivor - please dont hesitate to contact me so I can add you to the page. You can email me: andrea.seymour.photography@gmail.com or simply visit the page here.

For now I am just going to keep taking each day as it comes.

Except I am going to remember to take the time to remember what I am grateful for.

Also take the time to do one thing each day that I enjoy.

I have said it before but I need to remember it myself.

Its ok to not be ok.

Keep on Keeping on.
A.x